Change Your 'Self-Love' Techniques If You Find Yourself Un-Loving Others

PART 1:

Joan calls up her gang of friends, including the ones she had not been in touch with for months, to plan a union and even before their consent or denial, she has already started to visualize her OOTD pictures and the tailing social media posts, captions, hashtags, and other similar self-directed assignments. Five of the twelve people she had gotten in touch with blew off her gesture towards re-connecting and she is disappointed. Nevertheless, she gulps it well down her throat because those group pictures in her imagination have to have her exhilarated toothy smile and for no cost can she feel low at this point. Now she is out with her chums donning her best-ever Forever 21 pride, which, out of self-love, she had recently bought for herself. As they all settle themselves at the coffee table of a newly-opened café in town, the riveting mission of attending to the social media delights Joan more than the new job a friend on her left has is talking about. As soon as the day comes to an end, Joan sets her way back home and immediately starts to upload the picture of the day, thanking people in her caption to have found time for her. Another riveting mission now has her occupancy and she is consistently checking for reactions on her posts from who she considers as social media marshals. Few people she was expecting of seeing and reacting to her feeds have not done that yet and the rushing ferocity in her is so unbridled. Well, it was a heck of a day for Joan. While it started to make her feel better about herself and her life, it wasn't any better after the disgrace she feels now. Poor Joan, little did she know how her understanding of self-love was leading her to un-love people.

Kevin Gilliland, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and executive director of Innovation360, perfectly observes the partially positive impact one is posed to through reactions and comments from social media, as, in an interview to POPSUGAR, he had said, "Likes and shares can make us feel high, and we can begin to rely on that activity to give us the boost we may believe we need to feel good, but then, over time, we start letting it define us. The validation we get from social media is only a temporary feeling of having had real connection with someone, but then we're just living in the shadow of the real thing". (https://www.popsugar.com/fitness/Q-Gen-Z-Social-Media-Mental-Health-46077919). As I tried to discover an association between the urge for social media presence and attention, and self-love, I could very well infer how the former tends to contaminate the latter.

Pic Source: https://tinyurl.com/yf3d5of2

Let us remove events from the closely fictitious scenario above layer by layer in the reverse-chronological order. Let's just say that Joan did make the posts but after a tiring day, she decided to engross herself in some good reading, unconcerned about who does or does not react to her updates. This is where at least social anxiety seems to have swept off, quite to a large extent. She does not need any validation on how her life is going about from anyone and with no such expectations, her senses definitely do not lean her towards hatred for people.

However, Joan is still a person of rapturous social media presence, who wants the world (what to her are the 1.6k friends and followers she has) to know how lively her life is. From pictures of the new café to which dessert she had with her friends to the group picture, she had it in her to put it all up on her social media profiles. She may not show it but deep inside, she does seek and love to receive attention. In addition, she is not a person of the moment as she puts a deaf ear to what people around her are discussing about. Even if she was genuinely grateful with her thank-you posts, her behavior at the café was that of an impolite and unwelcoming person. That is not what self-love is. It would never teach you to not enjoy the moment you are in or to be ignorant of people around you. What made it worse was that Joan missed an opportunity to hear about the high-key perks of her friend's new job, merely because she was engrossed in feigning a glee on social media.

Okay. Maybe Joan had read Leo Tolstoy's "The Three Questions" and had not made that many posts while attending her friends (another layer removed). But why was she was disappointed on the five people for not joining in? Perhaps, she expects a lot from people and needs to understand that even if somebody was not available to entertain her plans that day, it does not mean that person would never be there for her. Well, honestly, even if nobody shows up the next time either, Joan's self-love should hold her strong and not let any sort of negative vibes touch her. It indeed was an optimistic step of her as she puts on a smile for the day ahead, but the fact that it was all for her social media thoughts nulls her efforts at being strong and happy. She should have instead found happiness in reasons like she, first, has taken up a path of sanctity as she intends on attaining self-love, and second, if not those five, there are seven other people to help her walk through it.

Now it's time to remove the very last layer. Joan had created a plan with friends. There, as I can think of, can be two mindsets behind her initiative. Maybe, it was genuine of her to want to see her friends and old pals. That is an optimistic approach. But if she had thought a group picture would appear impressive as a recent post, and she could make jealous some people she probably had in her mind, it is definite that she takes people in her life for granted. Maybe all she had in her mind was to show others that, "Hey, look here, my life is so perfect. I have got Forever 21, old friends, a new café to hang out at and blah!". That is not the way one self-loves. It is a selfless practise and one has to be self-sufficient in every way to achieve the purest form of self-love.

In my most honest observations, in the course of becoming our better selves by loving ourselves, we all do look forward to getting approval on our acts from the masses. If you are one of a kind in slightest of the ways, you belong to mankind. So, do not worry. But remember, the idea of self-love is being able to enjoy real moments with real people of your life and feel real emotions. It is all about how your conscience reacts on your daily acts of life and not people. Ensure that with every step you take, you are not gaining formless pleasures but dignified achievements like the powers of positivity. Do more things that make you feel that way. As for Joan, my imaginary development, she is now taking dance classes. And only her few best friends from school and those across her apartment know about it. The classes are not only helping her distract but, with their oh-so musical vibes, they are also turning her into a relaxed, unworldly person, and a better dancer too.

Being 'Positive' Doesn't Take Much Actually!

I Tried to Paint the Sky...& colored myself!

At some point in life, you must have heard someone saying, “The more you run away from something, the more it follows you back”. Though the quote never held a grain of truth in my life, I have lived with this thought for time immemorial. I ran away from truth, but no honesty came back to me. I ran away from mosquitoes, dengue never came to me. I even ran away from my books for entire school life, but no learning ever took a step towards me. However, I was astonished with the fact that whenever I used to run away from dogs, they ran back at me (one little grain could be applauded for this situation). No matter what life served me with, running away had no signs of solution or an escape or an explanation to any reason of probabilities behind the happenings.

That day, I encountered the ‘Secret’ at a small market owned by a child vendor exactly opposite to Café Coffee Day at Moolchand Metro Station. His mom was selling artificial jewelry right next to his shop; a shop with no shed or light or fan, but just the Café Coffee day on one and Metro Parking on the other side. I wondered, what was this family running away from that made this small self-owned, self-opened market follow them? The poor kid must be running away from school and books came to him. The helpless mother must be running away from jewelry to satisfy her family needs, and it all came back to her (who might also be envying or longing everyday for what she sold).

Well, as I encountered ‘Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne, I decided to buy its sequel which I encountered at my second glance; ‘Secret, the Power’. I started with first page the same day, inside the loud metro announcements (which also included any private announcement made by public in secret communications inside the Violet Line Metro). Initially, I thought that the concept of this book is wrong and confusing. The author tells you to have an amazing life and to wake up each day with excitement. She advises to only have positive feelings and ignore the negative ones around. She continuously speaks about ‘Love’ and its powers. My eyebrows raised a lot of questions during the introductory pages of the book. Why shouldn’t it be okay to only love what you like and actually hate what disinterests you? Why should there be a problem if you accept the negative feelings around and live with them positively? What would make a difference if you think about hatred and not only love, so that it helps you distinguish between the two feelings? Won’t being positive always leave you circumspect? How will you build opinions if you stick to just one feeling?

Indeed, for no reason in the 21^st century, when one gets anguished with late replies, people can always be positive, irrespective of what their blood group is. However, as I went through the book more and more, I realized that the ‘secrets’ behind Byrne’s concepts held truth. In one of her contents touching upon feeling the secret, the author wrote a Neville Goddard’s quote which said, “Whenever your feeling is in conflict with your wish, feeling will be the victor”. And this was quite provoking if I thought about my desires which I couldn’t live due to some reason or the other. May be because it’s more about rejoicing what you are being and have been blessed with. It’s really about feeling what you have and being contented. At the same time when ‘following your dreams’ provide inner peace, ‘living and loving the present’ brings along glee, which is the key to survival without complaints.

Coming back to ‘the more you run away from something, the more it follows you back’ thought, I believe the very fact of life is that you never achieve your dreams if you run away from them. Rather, when you feel that the dream you chase is all yours in reality, it comes to you in not much time. It might bring to you indications about soon becoming true when it takes too long to be lived and not just felt. But, the starting point of achieving a dream is feeling it and feeling that you are living it. By any chance, if your wish is not coming true, it’s for sure that life has stored in something much better. All you need is, just feel that situations you are getting exposure of are only for good, better and best!

The author also talks about giving others what you wish to have. Sharing one of her experiences, Byrne says that once she was running short of money. She was making a film based upon her book. She wanted money to complete the movie. Though, she was all in debt, she walked to an ATM and drew out several hundred dollars from her credit account. She went on to give the amount she had to certain people. Afterwards, what happened astounded her. Her bank account received 25,000 US dollars for some shares she had bought in a friend’s company years earlier. The incident suggests that putting love into giving brings what you share back to you.

In a nutshell, try to spread colors around you so as to bring the colors back to you. Be good and goodness will come back to you. No matter how the sky is - clouded or black - just paint it. No matter how people are, just love them. To absorb your own philosophies for your life, teach them to others. You teach people about love and you will be lovable. You teach them about happiness and you will be jovial. Teach what you know for you always get a response. You never know, while talking to others, you get a much-sought answer for yourself. Remember, even a plant that’s living yet passive is beneficial.

Pic Source: ecouterre.com

Celebrating Independence :)

Where Are the Kites...
11^th Aug’2014...


As every other evening, I was standing at the bus stop where people waiting for their buses looked more thoughtless than the non-respiring buses that they were waiting for. Smart ladies with Gucchi purses (I doubt, if original) made me feel proud at one moment and think of a future like theirs at the other. A day long work and then a ‘need-to-sleep-but-have-to-cook’ expression at their faces told me why this category of unfortunate bus stand lovers looked thoughtless. Then I turned my eyes over perfectly crisped shirts, mostly in check patterns complimented with dark shades of trousers. And then I moved my eyes over the faces that these clothes were carrying (Ooops! Reverse). The faces that had uniquely same nose, eyes, lips, and sweat! This category looked exhausted, as if dreaming to take the wrong bus intentionally and go on a different route of which they hope to be a swimming pool of delightful and stress free life. This category is often seen staring at the cars that could afford their owners (Ooops! Reverse). Well, they are tired, dreamers...yet thoughtless! And there was a happy category (or a bunch) of a blend of smart, sweet, funny people laughing at one liners and PJ’s. This group was though not very unfortunate to be a member of ‘Bus Stop Club’, as they looked full of life and their life appeared full of reasons to be thoughtless. Neither they had any tension of what to cook today, nor were they tired of any scheduled life. All they cared about was ‘who is going to pay for Momos and Cream Roll’. Aaaah! This life! This youthful, sparkling life! It takes a lot to reach to this life!

Where we stand today, may be considered a part of our decisions, but how we stand is a long story of our upbringing. We believe in moving on with the passing of time. We believe in collecting what comes our way and live with it. We believe in a lifestyle that is fast paced and flashing. Without realizing what we leave behind while we believe to be at the top!

While my half empty brain unnecessarily observed these thoughtless appearing unfortunate bus lovers, the whistle of my phone (yea! Smart one) beeped. I scrolled down the curtain on the screen to check my notifications! There were a few people fascinating me with ‘abe chal’, ‘mogambo khush hua’, ’satakli’ etc sort of stickers on Hike. Also there were two messages for some property at Noida Expressway. And a few messages on whatsapp some of which made an appeal to set Indian Flag as Profile Picture.

Well now! That’s Pretty Interesting! (Yo Holiday!) The non respiring buses, the thoughtless people, the carefree youngsters... nothing entertained my half empty brain about the Holiday (ooo... I should mean holy day). And something more alarming at the moment was no excitement for the 68^th Independence Day. I rolled my eyes up to check if the sky was as vibrant as I used to see Pre-Independence day few years back. I wanted to check if the craze of ‘I-BOW’ still exists. But I realised, things have changed and now restricted to change of whatsapp DP. I could soon sense the clear skies of the evening, which years ago at the same time used to play with a no. of colourful rhombus thing- The KITES!

Days before the celebration of Independence Day, I remember running up to the terrace with every single Kid living in the same building where I did. We always had one or two uncles who used to join us, not just because they helped us fly the kites, but also because they feared that we kids will ape Shaktiman and his revolving stunt on terrace. As a part of Contradiction, today a 6-year old would be considered mature and smart enough to operate tablets and chat on Social Networking Sites.
I remember the Celebration used to be grand, though on a small scale. As what we valued was the fun and get to gathers. The aunties would make Samosas and Pakodas (I doubt, if they could actually make something so delicious), there used to be songs, dancing, fun, and the sacred national anthem.

We used to buy stacks of kites, as apart from eating, sleeping, home works, lame excuses of headaches and fever... childhood is meant to enjoy and play. And during the month of August, playing meant flying kites. (Though for me, it meant either to carry “Charkhi” or just hold the “maanjha”...but I have always considered it a way of fun that is beyond happiness)

Those were the days and that was the childhood. Even today we have days, weeks, hours...but what we have lost is the innocence of life. The little things that brought grand joy are vanishing and grand developments in technology that is bringing temporary and fake satisfaction at the name of a “joyful life” is advancing.
Should not it be just the reverse...?

There is no one to blame for my non-excitement for this holy day, neither the non respiring buses, nor the thoughtless people. Neither the carefree youngsters, nor my half empty brain. But I just pray and feel pity for the clear sky. I feel pity that there are so less children to run up to the terrace and pay their contributions to make the sky vibrant with a few countable numbers of kites. There is no scope of ‘I-BOW’ competition. I wonder if there is any “fly the kite” app on their smart phones!
Anyways! Back with my eyes at the bus stop, I decided to quickly get into the over-crowded, hanging people bus (yeah! They unbelievably hang at the doors) and run to buy kites (and I hoped, people still sell them). And right now, my colourful purchase is right in front of my eyes. Time to call friends, and fly some kites (or may be hold the ‘charkhi’) Time to have fun- Outdoors! And enough of reading this for you as well! Go out and #happyflying. J

Girl Next Door!

The Soul in Her ...

With no shine of gold
she is another girl next door
Shedding tears in bed
Laughing rolling on the floor

The girl who always screams
Day and night in her dreams
Wishing to live the limelight
wishing for at least one attentive sight

The girl who pretends
to be like someone else
Ends up being the real-she
with a weeping heart, no one can see

Her love is young
her love is beyond comparison
She loves everyone
But fails to show it to the right person

She smiles in her thoughts
thoughts that are mere dreams
she runs away from situations
coz reality to her is very mean

When situations go wrong
she prays them to be silent
she begs for words to get over them
she begs for her script for better guidance

all the world’s a stage
where she feels like a bystander
make her feel special
coz she plays the lead role, however!

She can be daddy’s princess
brother’s doll
mommy’s angel
or someone’s lady love
She can be you, me or any other she

The Last Year

Unforgettable Three Years-Cherishing Moments!

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People told me the worth of being a graduate... nobody told me the value of living life! I know friendship is an eternal relation, but I never knew it also comes with a super offer of exciting people, encouraging classmates, supportive teachers, crazy friends, AdorableAakshi, Artistic Abhinav, Big Ballu, Energetic Eshan, Dancer Damini, Giggling Gunjan, Jhalli Jahanvi, Kitto Kirti, Noble Nidho, Notanki Nisha, Naughty Nitesh, Punjabi Puja, Ravishing Riasha, Refreshing Rajnikant Jokes, Simply Sweet Sino, Smart Sonal, Shaandaar Shoaib Ji, Sanki Sanchit, Soft Sarthak, Vibrant Vaishali, And Tapori Tanya...! The dramatic scheme also includes some dialogues:

•  “Assignment ya fir application, 4 baje tak meri table par”- Vidushi Mam,
• “Beta mere baat ko samjho”- Manish Sir,
•  “very nice, so pretty”- Sumedha Mam,
•  “Guys, I have to complete the course”- Gurmeet Mam,
•  “Are you getting my Point?”- Deepak Sir,
• “Hello, College kyu nahi aarahe ho?”- Sanjay Sir,
• “ye aperture hai, ye auto pe, ye manual pe...”- Virender Sir, “job chahaie toh batana toh padega karna kya hai? Haan jahanvi tum batao tumhe karna kya hai”- Alka Mam,
• “chullu bhar paani me doob maro, 1st year k bache ko bhi pata hai ye“- Tulika Mam“are chill karo yaar, kya tension hai life me”- Sonali Mam
• “studio band karna hai”- Ajay Sir

I, like everybody else was as excited as panicked to enter the new phase of life! The college life! My then 43 Kgs turned 50+ today, is all a result of me being stuffed with motivation, tenderness, happiness, madness, friendship, and loooaaads of love! It’s upsetting to face the end. I want to Relive what I am leaving... Never did I know, I will say this, but I will miss this life. I will miss the small terrace canteen, coke and chowmein (okay I never ate anything!) and dum charades! I will miss my smile when someone got me five star! Nehru Nagar and Golgappe, Bhaad me jaaye bus, pehle pastry, break matlab amar colony ka chakkar aur kalti maarlena! How these everyday moments have become memories now!Kya jaldi jaldi bade hogaye na yaar...!

BATCH 2012-2015

Aakshi: Our emotional queen... filled with true love and care for others, you are a girl full of life! I have always loved facing challenges with you... though it was limited to assignments, but every challenge counts! :p I feel soooo positive with you aaakuuu...! thankyou so much for being there, for joining in at every stupid celebration... every moment was a party with you... will keep the parties on for life...

 Balwanteey: humare bhai pyar to sirf teen cheezo se karte hai... Punjabi gaane, apna camera, aur aaaaayuuuuuu...cchhchhhssssssshhhsh! but bhai I love you four much! Bacche ki tarah paala hai apne mujhe! :p :p thankyou for making me learn things and being there for shoots! ^_^

Abhinav: I have no idea if this guy will ever read this! (does he even exists :o ) but you are the second best person born on 29th june I met in life... (First one is me ^_^) Wherever you are, I wish you always stay blessed and happy! Goodluck for whatever you are doing... and do let me know what the hell on earth are you actually doing :p :p missed u in farewell! :)

Eshan: Camera Dude of our batch! Your best quality is your “tere bhai me bhi dum hai”attitude towards life. Free spirited, always high on energy and your aadha ghanta late entry in exams! Stay bindaas like this forever bro!

Damini: Damini and Dimples! Resemblance like deepika padukone and appearance like bipasha basu... you have always been a star! And your dance... like nobody else! Stay shining damn-ini!

Jungan: BMC ka chotta recharge ;) you are that energy that kept our classroom alive... GUUUUTHIIII tera dance, bachpana, cuteness, naughtiness, aur darshal ke lie pyaaar :p yaad rahega mujhe forever and beyond... you are that charm which can bring light in any place! Stay charming :) :D

Jhallo: jaanu meri jaaan... mai tere kurbaan... <3 I have spend the most of my college time with you... be it events, nehru nagar or metro... you were always there... I never thought haridwar ki ladki would ever become my so very best friend! :D I will miss all the notankis with you... I have always felt happy and genuine with you... I could share everything with you... (my saree too :p ) just stay what you are... stay happy always! Love you behenjaan :p

Kirti: kamini kitto! :* I remember your first day in college... your blue kurti... and innocent face... you are what you are and you would never change for anybody which is the best thing about you babes! Gonna miss your baatein a lot...

Nidho: the girl anybody can fall in love with! Your silence is loud... very loud to impress anyone... tera gurjari andaaz aur tikki k lie pyaar... I remember our first ever radio recording... “gurur brahma gurur Vishnu” :p :p :p I remember the child popping out of you at various situations... the boldness hidden in a big corner of your soul! You are same as your name... Nidhi... our treasure... my JIMS prize! Thanks for being there nids!

Nisha: jattni kamini... lost and found case of BMC... I can spend hours talking to you on phone and never get bored! We have so much to talk about, including 89% nonsense... I never want to lose you nashe... the day I lose a friend like you, I will lose an originality... In your presence and around, I am what I feel happy to be... dancing and singing on roads, sitting on metro floor, and the double meaning talks! I feel, we share a bond that has no explanation... bas thodi sincere reh, baaki ye bandi badi sahi hai yaar! :p :p

Nitesh: the dude of our class! Tall, Dark and hell handsome! Matlab, I actually fell in love with your physique :p may god bless girls with you... Oh sorry I mean guys like you! :p :p stay sexy my love! You are a man! A true generous man who has great sense of humor and smartest bike ever! :p you are the first guy who taught me riding bike! Vo alag baat hai I am not a good student, but you are a great teacher and a much better friend! (If you don’t understand what I have written at any point, then please consult guys! :p)  at last I just want to say... tension mat le :p miljaaegi bandi! :p :p :p your company means fun and I love fun around me! <3

Poooh!- no not the Winnie one, but cuter than him! Har situation k mu todh jawaab k saath 24/7 haazir... pooja chaudhary, the Punjabi diva! :* your first day in college and we in library... no chance you’ll ever forget me :p :p and I loved anchoring with you last farewell ^_^ I can’t afford a life without you... as you have the best of advices... stay confident and cool puuujaahh <3

Riasha: the Varanasi beauty :* the orientation day, and we sat on first bench of second row and you were wearing a white top and black jeans! The anchor in you has always sparked out and your grounded nature has always made me comfortable in your company! Every exam and you in front of me... I guess you were the lucky charm that made me pass exams! <3 everything about you is so perfect! From your name to your choices! Riasha is always ravishing!

Rajnikant: whenever I listen this song “Tu Hai To Tedhi Medhi Rahein, Ulti Pulti Baatein Seedhi Lagti Hai... Jaane Kyun Dil Jaanta Hai, Tu Hai To I'll Be All Right”, I recall going in bus with you, your capacity to speak non-stop for 1 and a half hour...your phone calls, your sharing of things, your emotions and sudden jokes! Your absolutely out of the box thinking :p :p its out of the universe actually! “metro se ladki likhegi haah balu... f***off!” Loool :p pateela bharkar teri bakwas aur usme do chutki meri chudel vali hasi :p :p unforgettable moments of my life! Thankyou for everything you have done for me! Thankyou for making days special for me! Your friendship means a lot to me! Thankyou so much...!

Sino: South Indian beauty :* “Idli saambar idli saamabr”  :p :p since day1, I have seen your passion and your respect for dance growing really up! I have found a sister in you! A sister ready to lend a hand in any situation (and phone for clicking pictures) :p :p I will always mimic your actions while doing hmmm  with a finger! That will make you stay alive in me! Your intelligence and sincerity makes me jealous dude! At the same time it makes me proud... of having at least someone in group jo bakwas nahi karta :p :p it’s superb to have you in my life... :* stay in touch meri jaanu sissy :*

Sonal: no idea if he is reading this, but he was surely the coolest and smartest munda of our class! Be it Fashion show or nukkad naatak... (“jutey polish ni kiyee tune mere... kaha hai mere juteey”) :p :p we have not spend years together, but college life was awesome when B1 of JIMS, ljp had you!

Shoaib: I adore you shoaaaaib...adore you like hell! You and your jokes! Your one-liners! Your creative ideas! Deepak sir ki class was fun when you were around! We missed shoaib in last days of being nostalgic! At least I and jahanvi did! Hope to see you very soon :D

Sanchit: That last day of 2014 and our Ansal Party is where I started knowing you... And tussi te bade paglet ho paaji :p god bless you humeshaaaaa you have faced tough times with an abundant smile... stay smiling always...

Sarthak: gora chitta ladka... I am sure tu nahi bhi nahaata hoga tab bhi hum sab se zaada saaf suthra lagta hoga :p :p your pace of speaking is too cool, calm and composed! I will miss the way you used to speak! And also your mobile phone... jo tulika mam k har sawaal ka jawaab jhat se de deta tha :p :p first guy I know, jisne mom dad k naam ka tattoo banwaya tha! You are stuffed with heights of coolness!

Vaishali: where there is creativity, there is vaishali... and vice versa! One more... ahem :-p where there is health, there is vaishalii... and vice versa :)... one last... where there are dimples to die for, there is vaishali (damini you too :p ) aaaahndd... vice versa! :p :p vaishali jaan you are so down to earth that I love your expressions (okay no connection but I love you and your DPs) every damn trend looks fresh on you! Stylish and yet simple... you define a true lady who speaks and stands for her wishes! I had great 3 years with you vaishu! <3

Tappi: ye vo ladki hai jo sabko saari baat batakar bolti hai ki kisi ko batana mat :p :p you got a really apt title! Ms talkative :p :p I’ll miss eating golgappe with you tappiii L I’ll miss your baatein :p well actually no! tu mujhe chain se jeene kaha degi jo miss karne ka time milega mujhe... haina ^_^ upar se teri daayan vali hasi :p but what I loved about you is that you started learning and made efforts to learn new things! I have seen positive changes in you which makes me feel proud to have a friend like you! :)

Ankit Rajput: I know tu BBA ka hai, but I have always felt your presence in BMC family... I have enjoyed every college celebration with you be it fests, zests, marriages or birthdays... You are that friend with whom I can share secrets without any regrets! You are the one who celebrated my birthday first in college... thankyou for the thought and tender <3 you are a great friend and everyone should have one like you (especially when you are becoming famous :p ) Waiting to listen to you soon on big screen! My good wishes are always with you tanki :) and you also have a really cool family... blessed to be blessed with Ankit Rajput in my life :)

Thanks to alllll of you for incorporating your roles in my happy college life... also my lovely juniors, thankyou for a woooooooooonderful farewell party and superb titles! :* Samrat- the rapper, I feel you are a family :) since you live nearby, I won’t ever miss anything about you... bas rickshaw ki aur shiv chowk pe hamlaa :p Preetika my preeto,,, though I really katti you for isolating and also not coming to the most precious day of college life, you have no idea how much I love you for existing on this planet! I have learned life from you! Words in the scripts would never hold any meaning if you were not accompanying me for anchoring! I have enjoyed a lot with you jaaneman! But you broke my heart 3 Pragati- for some reasons last semester made me close to you, I could feel a younger sister in you... I feel really proud that Assam sent you Delhi... you have a long way to go love just like your height! Anuj- are baapre you are sooo talented... you are nana patekar, sunil shetty, sunny deol and so on! High levels of imagination and spontaneous humor sense, I received my first RJ-Hunt certificate because you was there! Enjoyed a lot participating in every event with you, learnt really a lot from you! J Anu I respect you a lot for respecting everybody always! Aakash: my Romeo... see you soon smarty as a pilot :) up there high in the sky :) Vartika: so sweet girl you are... simple sweet and sober... your company means comfort :) Bindiya: your handwriting and greetings will be always deeply missed... Piyush Danu- tera sudden joke maarna and tere paseene... both are worth remembering :p Chanchal: Ms. Chappadiya... I remember your cute yellow top on the first day of your college... you and your acceptance towards your choices is what I appreciate a lot about you...Shubham: Permanent Dj of Jims, will always cherish you for your shaayaris... keep writing your expressive words for whosoever who write for... Eshaan: I guess the most extrovert can also never dare to do what you did last fresher’s :p I will always remember that and keep up with your romantic heart and soulful voice...Arun: wishing to see a singer turned director soon... so focused on singing you are that the whole building probably knew when arun is doing rihaas... Sagar: tu aur tera raub! Mashallah gazab karte ho :p

Apart from BMC life, JIMS has also given me Sagar (ID)- a great soul whose steps expresses life...Aakash(ID)- with whom I spent a day getting sponsorships in DTC’s with no tickets :p Shivani- a sweetheart I love for always listening to me... Nitin- really hardworking guy I know... you never show your tough times right? But your talent will soon bring comfort in your life :) Manoj(HM)- my bro... thanks for suggesting me and being there like an elder brother always... Anshul(HM)- saala tum to alag hi case ho... pagal ho par zaruri ho,, stay pagal...  bhaavna(Id): dear I have seen nobody as carefree as you... just stay unlimitedly awesome as you are... Anurag(hm)- ab kon meko chaawal bolega yar... I wanted to live more of this life with you...Ashpreet (HM)-  I will miss that Rainy day and our pagalpanti while going towards metro! Thanks for being a part of this journey! Tapish(BBA): meri jaan tu aur teri baatein jo mujhe har pal hasaaade :p will miss you danda :*

I will miss you all a lot! For some reason I also feel like an astrologer while writing this stuff! For telling you all about your own self! I am not judging anyone; I am just telling you all what I will miss the most about you all...Good luck to everybody for every moment that waits in future...Never be worried about ‘what-if’s’ of life... just enjoy every ‘now’... Stay in touch everyone <3 stay happy stay blessed :)

Empower yourselves!

Ladies- Its not your fault!

“Behind every successful man, stands a woman” a well pronounced phrase used as a dialogue for movies or for writing fictions. Whereas, a co-relating phrase can be- “in front of every aggressive man, stands a lady”. This lady is tough, capable, and a fighter. She moves a head with a sound mind and a strong heart. She leaves behind every atrocity facing it bravely, multi-tasking every activity that comes her way.

Crime- fair to all

“Crime”- brutal, violent, immoral is undoubtedly not restricted to women. Nobody is safe irrespective of gender or caste. I mean, if you, being a guy, ever drives a car and god forbid a truck driver has got your supari and intentionally collides right into your car, you would surely not jump up like Rajnikant and tell the driver ‘heya yew! Yew wyanna playa collaida collaida vied meeh?” Of course safety is not a measure of gender, sex or something. But then dear guys, your Moms would never tell you not to wear short dresses outside. Trust me, they trust you so much that they won’t ever ask you not to look disgracefully at a girl wearing short dress. You know, its sort of legal to ogle, but a crime to wear that poor little black skirt laid back in every girl’s almirah.

Rescue yourself from raping

And one more dialogue I probably counter every now and then, “if girls will wear short dresses, we will gaze them. Aren’t we the one for whom this dress was purchased?” Reaaaaalllyyy??? Dude GET A LIFE! And then the attraction excuse peeps in- “ooww she was too attractive to be pretty I could not resist my eyes gazing her.” Dear Gazer! If she was attractive go propose her and marry her. If she makes you loose control (like a few helpless rapists), then you are the lucky on who has all the rights to get into your rooms and indulge in SELF-ENTERTAINMENT. (yaay happy?). “she should not have been out late night, she should not have selected short clothes, she should not have got drunk” stop giving excuses for your lust. The measurement of fabrics on a girl’s body is surely not the measurement of her character. And yes! Even we girls stare at you if we find you cute. Even we get crushed by our every-hour-changing-crush. But then we appreciate your eyes, your killing smiles, your heights but not the length. We don’t judge our attraction on the basis of “aarahi hai to 7, ja rahi hai toh 8”.

You can put the blame on…?

Okay now there are people who would blame Television, movies, videos (pornography) for the guys getting attracted to girls too much that it leads to rape. Dear blamers-like-born-new-in-the-world, before the cinemas and everything, everybody knew how is it done. (din’t you?). It was never like blue films taught us the way. It was never that before this era, kids were born through photosynthesis. And neither we ever believed when our moms told us the angel story.

We are all adults and intelligent. And all we need is probably a better education system and awareness campaigns which should reach to every educated or uneducated individual so as to raise morals. If laws does not work, may be education and awareness would. Fingers Crossed to see a well built country where there is love and no lust. Probably, I crossed the lines of writing decent. But then, truth is truth and we were not born today! Cheers to all who understands my language!

College Docs!- The F Word...

Fear, Face, Fight- “The F Word”

“How will I fit myself in my new dress if I do not lose weight”, announced my 9 years old cousin when I offered her a piece of chocolate truffle. The chocoholic kid also added about a big No-No to chocolates and fast food, while she declared about her new diet clause. A part of me got furious at her statement, whereas a part of me was curious to know her mental analysis about being fat. (Another part of me questioned if a bar of chocolate was an end to life).

The very next day, I saw the College’s Notice Board which announced about the Open Frame Film Festival to be held at Indian International Centre. The schedule for 2^nd September said that the movie which will be first set in motion is going to be “The F Word” by Ms. Saba Rahman. Right after a couple of seconds dedicated to the discussion about the ‘F’ word, me and my batch-mates (being the contemporary icons) apprehended the theme to be something that the age group of 12-35 must be apprehending right now. (May be a movie on ‘Facebook’...?)

I went home and the media student inside me shouted out loud to do a research about the film-makers and their films that was a part of this Film Festival. While doing this job, I read about Ms. Saba Rahman and “The F Word”, and also gave a look to the youtube trailer of this film. And this was it! It was far from what I apprehended. It was a Participatory Documentary which asked a question- “why to lose weight”? May be, it was the answer behind the mental analysis of being fat. I prepared my set of questions that I would put in front of the young and youthful Rahman. During the film festival, I grabbed an opportunity to have an encounter with her as soon as possible.

After having a conversation with her, I realised it’s not all about the way we perceive ourselves, but our perception is a contribution of several other external factors and thoughts. So, if my cousin wanted to go on an anti-fat food diet, it was because the world she lives in taught her to live like that. She was conscious not about just looking good, but also about the thought that will the people around her accept her as “good looking”.

Ultimately, it’s not just about her, we all live in our own world which is meant to please the world outside. I appreciate the intelligence behind healthy living, but not for the sake of gratifying others. Everyone is beautiful and it just requires an eye (not a guy) to see the beauty. It’s better to welcome a sound lifestyle than to disallow your delights to enter in your life. It’s better to be pleased by thing that you rejoice instead of finding reasons to please others. To step out on the road, you need to step out of your shelves that you have unnecessarily created. There is no end to live, but life has one. So, cherish your life as much as you cherish your Birthday Gifts (Some category of humans like me also keeps the gift paper safe for years).

And in the end, I taught this lesson to my cousin. Now her whatsapp status says “DND- Do Not Diet”. (God! 9 years old and whatsapp. Incredibly developing India).